How painful, destructive, and devastating it would be if infidelity enters your marriage. It is never easy when your spouse cheated on you, am I right? I mean, it already hurts if you have your boyfriend or girlfriend cheat on you, what more a partner supposedly for life? Well, let me just tell you that it is hard, but never impossible.
Of course there are factors to be faced by either side of the coin. Let’s start off with the victim:
* The vein marks – You will feel anger or even rage. Anger or rage that could lead you to hurt either your spouse, the lover, or even yourself.
* There will be lots of rivers and waterfall – No question about it; there will be tears. Crying seems to be the first outlet to unload the heavy feelings that the betrayal brought you.
* Increasing order of ice cream – You will be deeply depressed and will require sweet comfort food. Eating sweets like chocolates and ice cream are good way to lighten the “heavy” feelings.
* You will need a nurse or first aid kit that comes with a watch – You will need time to process the pain. It may be short or long process depending on how you perceive your situation and your decisions on it.
* Einee Minnie minie Mo – Make a choice to trust again or not. The thought of trusting again or not is like a roller coaster most especially at the early stage of either admittance of your spouse or your discovery of the love affair.
Now, for you, Oh Guilty one, (Well, if you are human, you will be guilty even a bit.)
* Growing up again – The guilty one must take responsibility and be more responsible for his actions next time. Add also self-control to overcome the temptation to cheat your spouse.
* Don’t play – Everyone’s gathering up for the blame game, but the guilty one shouldn’t be allowed to join. Don’t blame your spouse.
* Need to have a heart transplant with a Lion for a donator – You need to take courage to face the problem or trial. It is better to get this courage from the Great Source of Courage – Jesus. The mixed emotions and overwhelming thoughts could go beyond what you can bear.
* Take another ‘bow’ (vows)– You will need commitment to save the marriage. This commitment is the staying power of any relationship next to love.
Now, let’s talk about feelings
1. Shame – Guilty one
2. Guilt – Guilty one
3. Blame – Guilty one
4. Anger – Both
5. Hurt – The victim
6. Disappointment – The victim
7. Rage – The victim
8. Embarrassment – Guilty one
9. Forgiveness – The victim (maybe)
10. Jealousy – The victim
11. Lust – The guilty one
12. Resentment – Both
13. Denial – Both
14. Mis-trust – The victim.
Quite a list, isn’t it? Well, this matter really is personal and emotional, so of course it will be quite a list. Of course, at times, you should simply throw in the towel and give up the marriage. There is always room for forgiveness, but forgetting is next to impossible. The guilty one shouldn’t expect anything beyond forgiveness but it can be a prayer item –something to hope for.
