At the beginning of a relationship couples tend to be more intimate and reveal much about their past, including good and bad experiences, subjects often only expressed to very good friends. But in general when such intimate matters are discussed with good friends, the idea of intimacy being used for sexual arousal or to boost one’s libido is inappropriate.
Intimacy is part of friendship that needs to be separated from the intimacy between lovers. Intimacy can bring greater closeness to lovers and induce sexual arousal. At times of tearful reminiscing or times of happiness and even hilarity that often comes with intimacy, a couple tends to hug and caress and wittingly or unwittingly begin to feel sexually aroused and soon engage in sex.
So it can happen by chance. But can intimacy be used as a way to boost your libido and the libido of your lover?
The answer is Yes. You can actually create a situation where the arousal leads to great and prolonged sex. During periods of intimacy deep emotions are aroused. Subjects are discussed that are usually hidden from others. Most people hide their past, especially when it involves something that might have been harmful to others or shameful or even antisocial. At times something comes up that shows an unfavorable part of your lover’s personality that might not have been known.
From previous comments and growing trust more and more of the past that might have been disturbing is revealed and if each partner does not shy away from listening or putting up a wall, then the intimacy grows. If the partners fully accept what is heard and do not condemn, criticize or judge each other a greater closeness evolves.
Couples who engage in such intimate interaction often end by holding each other, which can lead to more intense hugging, sexual kissing and a growing sexual desire that often leads to their going to bed. The longer the intimacy continues without anything happening to turn them off then the more likely the libido of the couple will increase. Sometime it can lead to a feeling of near-ecstasy when the arousal reaches new heights.
Intimacy, therefore, can be recognized as a prolonged period of foreplay that eventually leads to sex. This does not diminish the meaning of the intimate dialogue but rather indicates the acceptance of what was said and the growing love of the partners for each other. Such intimacy can go on for years. Even when things are repeated, often in a different context, the relationship tends to grow. The need of not judging, the awareness of the increased vulnerability of each other and the desire for closeness and being protected lead to increased libido.
Deliberately using intimacy as foreplay for sexual arousal frequently allows a couple to set times aside for closer interaction and intimate discussions. There is a heightened sense of connection as they await the coming lovemaking. Couples tend to welcome these intimate moments both for the increased understanding they acquire and the accompanying sexual interaction they experience. Emotional and sexual intimacy are blended into a life-affirming whole.
In my books “Loving Life in Retirement” and “Couples in Crisis” you will find a wealth of information about creativity, relationships, sex, hobbies, spirituality and becoming a positive person. The books can help convert your life into one of freedom, abundance, zest and finding the joy of living. You can change your life.
