It is a known fact that emotions tend to cloud our judgment and for that reason many people do exactly what they should not do when faced with the pain of a break up. When dealing with any type of problem it is best to first stop the bleeding and only then work out the issue that caused it in the first place. This principle perfectly applies to relationships. Obviously, there have been problems that have led to the break up and those will have to be addressed when the time comes in order to win back an ex, but first we have to focus on the short-term solutions you can apply.
We as humans are hard-wired to not feel attraction when we see certain things, so the first thing you need to do is to stop such behavior. In short, this means you have to stop being over-agreeable, passive and weak. Even if they do not consciously realize it, women always look for strong men who are independent and can offer them protection. There are four main mistakes that men make when trying to win back an ex:
Mistake #1: Thinking that being a nice guy improves your chances
Our society is polluted by the idea that being a “nice guy” is what women really look for, but nothing is further from the truth. By blindly agreeing with everything your girlfriend or wife says and does, you will never have a successful relationship, unless you are interested in control freaks. Conflict always sparks interest and attraction, while being predictable, insecure and passive brings nothing but boredom and monotony.
Mistake #2: Bringing logic into the discussion
There is no way you can argue someone into coming back to you. You can logic yourself out of a relationship, but the other way around does not work. Emotions are felt, not understood. The heart reacts to actions and stimuli, not logic.
Mistake #3: Literally humiliating yourself
A lot of guys act like a doormat by using phrases such as “Please don’t leave me, I will do everything you want!” If a woman comes back to you after you behave like this, you can be sure that she will leave you again after a couple of weeks.
Mistake #4: Spending tons of money on gifts and flowers
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being generous, but giving gifts should be used for something other than trying to spark attraction. Quite the contrary! By showering a woman with gifts all you do is communicate that you do not value yourself a lot and you think you need to give her stuff in exchange for love.
To sum up, there is nothing wrong with having to deal with a break up. It happens to everyone and it is a fact of life. However, the thing that matters is the way you deal with it and most of the time the counter-intuitive actions are the ones that work the best when trying to win back an ex.
