Too many people, myself included, take marriage so lightly these days. As easy as it is to get hitched nowadays it is just as easy to get unhitched. Marriage is a sacred thing and it should be one of the most important decisions of your life and to be protected at all costs. Being around the military for a while I’ve seen my fair share or marriages, divorces, infidelities, and everything related and have experienced some most of those things first hand. I have gone through a terrible divorce and I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did.
There are three sides to every story; his side, her side, and the truth which is usually a combination of the two. When you look at marriage you are basically combining two separate people with different upbringings, opinions, goals, personalities, parents, and the list goes on. The feelings of a new found love can be extremely powerful in the beginning and can sometimes override our senses. I’m sure you have heard the saying of ‘love is blind’. Love can be blind sometimes. Love can take us for an amazing ride sometimes and give us great opportunities. Love can also hurt so deeply.
I understand what it’s like to look at your spouse with tears running down your face and wonder why is she still yelling at me. I understand what it’s like to be so angry at her to not even want to speak her name. I understand that two of us, are imperfect people trying to put together something that is perfect. I understand what it’s like to feel like I’m not heard, emasculated, and to find comfort elsewhere. You don’t just wake up one day and say ‘today is a good day for a divorce’ or ‘life is short, have an affair’.
This is marriage we are talking about here and yes times get rocky and rough. If there are kids involved then you better put your shoulder to the plough and keep pressing. Those kids are more important than your feelings of love to your spouse but your spouse should be your number one priority. Even when you don’t feel like it and it hurts. Even when you can’t stand it and it makes you sick to your stomach to constantly fight about the same things over and over and over again. Even when you can’t even get along just for a dinner for a couple of hours, that marriage is your number one priority.
Don’t divorce. At the end of the day and you are left with your thoughts and your house is empty, you will feel it. I can tell you first hand that there is no amount of alcohol or women (or men), that would ever fill that hole. When those kids are gone, they are gone and left with scars they have to deal with for life because mommy and daddy couldn’t get it together. They will grow up and move on and the funny thing is they are statistically bound to repeat our same mistakes. Work it out. Step out of your current situation and think of that bigger picture and make a difference.
