The people in your inner circle depend on you to provide support in difficult times. The concept of being supportive varies across cultures and according to each person’s personal code of values. One common aspect of being supportive is filling a need or providing assistance without regard for personal gain. To aid readers in building stronger personal relationships, this article describes seven ways to become more supportive.
1. Sharing activities with people you love may not always spark your interest. People have activities and interests that are important to them and they would like to share them instead of always doing them alone or with strangers. If a loved one asks you to join an activity such as a bowling league, join the league without considering what you will gain from the experience.
2. Listening is a skill people may assume they have mastered, but there are ways to become a better listener in each relationship. Think about your role and what listening skills are necessary for providing support. If you only focus on giving advice, you may miss important messages about what a loved one needs to find relief from stress.
3. Brainstorming solutions for another person’s problems is supportive. Use critical thinking to find solutions that a person who is too close to the problem has trouble identifying. Even if you offer possible solutions, be prepared your loved one will make a decision that meets one or more of his personal needs rather than the most effective option.
4. Practicing patience is another skill people overlook when caught up in the stress of providing support to others. An important part of practicing patience is giving another person enough time to reach decisions that will alleviate a difficult situation. Don’t force advice on a person; make it easy for him to see your understanding of the situation.
5. Saying, “I love you” is important in loving relationships. People get caught up in daily living, and they forget to share this message with their loved ones. When you say it as you mean it, another person is reassured he is not alone in the world.
6. Suspending judgment builds trust in many relationships. When parents provide emotional support to adult children, this concept is very important. Each person needs room to make mistakes and grow from them. A person who means well but vocalizes too many judgments can make another person feel worse about a mistake than is really necessary.
7. Make encouraging statements that empower a person to succeed in important aspects of life. For example, suggest that a person obtain more job skills or education. Skill development will open up new job opportunities. Or, you might suggest a young athlete spend time practicing at the batting cage to improve her softball game. People may have the answers regarding how to succeed right in front of them. When they are encouraged by others, they might feel the extra push that will result in action.
Providing support to friends and family involves using skills that do not benefit you in a single transaction. Remember that to be truly supportive, you must put another person’s needs before your own. When you are in need of support, you can let another person return the favor. Supporting fellow human beings prevents disruptions in a tumultuous world.
